| The Noise of the Night |
[23 Feb 2006|03:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Pure Silence |
] |
I think I should be a Book title writer....
Have you ever wanted to be someone your not?
I want to be a leader. Leaders, though there are many types, lead by example, fortitude, strength of character, force of presence, think quickly, creative, ability to control emotion.
The good leaders earn respect, trust, devotion. They give in return: confidence, safety, family.
Leaders are lonely, they are lonely because they carry the fears of those they lead. They are lonely because they are feared. They are lonely because they are respected. They are lonely because they have to be.
I have never been strong enough to be alone. I will never be a true leader. Every fear I have comes back to one; alone.
I am clostrophobic, at least to some extent, but what truely scares me in small places is being utterly alone. With walls all around you, all thats left is you.
I am scared of dieing. Not being shot, or killed in some violent fashion. I am scared of old age, of fading out. I see old people in nursing homes surounded by strangers, surounded by eminant death...alone.
Alone...when you are alone all you have left is you. Perhapse, what I am really scared of is me.
Thoughts for a tired mind.
45 days.
|
|